Visitors often ask me how the children end up in our orphanage. I guess we all know the stories about babies left on the doorstep of an orphanage, and unfortunately they are true stories sometimes. That is why sometimes the second part of the question is:” Do people just leave the babies in front of your gate?”
At Lestari only two of the children were brought to us by one of their parents. Our oldest boy came to the orphanage when he was 3 years old. I remember how his father came in with his son, curiously looking around, and a nervous, filled in our forms. He emphasized his boy was not to be adopted out, and we agreed that there would contact by phone once a month.
Then the moment of departure came and they had to part. It was heart-breaking. I can still see those little hands grasping and reaching for his dad, as he walked away, through the gate and gone.
Our second baby was brought in by his mother when he was only 2 months old. His body covered with red rash, tummy swollen, and arms and legs quite skinny. His mom explained she gave him only two bottles of milk per day, and some porridge. Oh, no, no wonder. When her baby was asleep in is new cot, she slowly walked out of his life, the baby blanket empty around her waist.
Our other children where all handed over at the midwife clinic right after birth. Their mother knew already during pregnancy they could not take care of their child, because of economical reasons, and sometimes for health reasons as well.
The family and friends know, they tell their friends, and they tell their friends, until there is one who knows our orphanage, or someone who works with us. Then I hear about it. Before I make a decision I try to go over to see the mother and the house first. Is there really no other alternative? If not, then I agree to take the baby in after birth.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to give away your own baby, your own flesh and blood. But I get a little idea, when I see the sadness in every mother’s eye, and the helpless expression on their face. In most cases the father has run away, to escape his responsibility to take care of this wife, and raise his children to be the breadwinner of his family. So the mother has no choice but to make sure her child is safe, and she can work to earn her living, and sometimes for her older children. Some of the parents express their wish to keep in touch, by visiting their child, but in reality none of them actually do. I understand that as it is probably too emotional, too painful. I am just grateful for the trust the parents have in me and my team, that their child is in good hands with us. That is really something.